One
by MidnightStarr
Summary: It's so cruel. But you love him. You should let go. But you love her. (ReixBryanxMariam)
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Hey guys, another Beyblade attempt at an unusual pairing. I just know some of you are gonna freak out over the nature of this one so I'm a bit excited. Hehe. Read and let me know what you think, and whether or not you're interested in the next two chapters. They're already written because myself and a friend of mine have been sharing these back and forth, so once I get like 5 reviews I'll update.

* * *

There are a lot of people out there who tell you that it's impossible to love two people at the same time.

But you think you do.

You know you fuckin' do.

Don't kid yourself; it was pulling you apart at the seams in the beginning. Sometimes it still feels that way. One wants you there, the other one here... Society sees you with one and doesn't know the other one exists so you're traveling to her house like a ghost, while his friends are asking him where you are.

You gotta rationalize to yourself all the time how one is more important than the other. You don't rationalize that to them, though. They don't need to know that. You just gotta do it to keep yourself sane.

(Sane... Ha, that's a fucking notion right there. Especially for you.)

See, you got history with both.

You battled him once years ago, nearly killed him. But he did the same to you in return. It took a long damn time for that wound to stop festering and when it did you still had your doubts that he was worth fucking with. Bad blood and all that shit. Honestly there was a small part of you that still wanted to hurt him. But there was a bigger part of you, that thought Rei Kon was hot. Gettin' a piece of that would've been pretty sick.

So you tried. You didn't, for awhile. But in the meantime you did something you weren't sure you were ready for: you got close. Close again after you'd just been hurt. That closeness grew, and grew until you were figurin' out shit about him you hadn't really cared to even wonder about before.

Now it's hard to friggen picture being far away from him. Kon has his claws in you.

She, you didn't know from your distant past. The Bladebreakers knew her. A couple other teams. You talked with her online a couple times, figured out she could give as good as she got and she got _you_ , instantly curious.

(This was before your second-go-round with Kon.)

So naturally when you two met at a hotel for a publicity tournament you had to have a drink together. Now normally for you that meant you were gettin' laid but it actually didn't happen. Not yet, anyways. It took a couple weeks. You actually went to visit her. You left the fuckin' country. Russia, the only place you always knew what was coming at you. And you left it. Went half a world away to see her. At least you fucked.

And maybe you had hope.

Then things went to shit. It was her goddamn fault.

(Wasn't it?)

Hell Mariam pushed you into Kon. You just hoped you didn't push her into something a lot worse than a long-haired Chinese twink who was actually a really decent fuckin' person.

 _'You're with Rei. You're with Kon'_ , fuckin' say it. Think it out loud and remind yourself that you gotta keep appearances up.

Mariam is... Well. Being friends with your exes, as it turns out, is actually a really fucked up concept. Can you really fuckin' talk about normal things with somebody after you've stayed up all night together? Kissed because you actually wanted to? Can you pretend you didn't do that shit or even worse: _know_ you did that shit and still be 'friends'? She sucked your cock. Let alone you fucking came inside of her like it was your right.

You tried to be friends. She tried too. Some shit went down with her and another dude. Didn't end well. (You probably should've noticed something wasn't right when the idea of some guy hurting her made you so fucking angry that it pained.)

She disappeared. You were with Kon. You were happy with Rei, but fuck it if her silence online and absence from the teams's chat platforms didn't make you nervous.

You lied. You told Rei you wanted to go back and see the guys. It wasn't often you were all apart; barely fuckin' ever, so, it worked. He was happy enough to let you go. Gave you a big kiss on departure.

You lied. Not about the fact that you were already missing him, but about the flight after your first stop. You didn't go home to Moscow. You went to Japan.

A heartbroken ex and a couple drinks later, romance ensued.

Now look where you are.

Rei is happy. Mariam is happy.

They're happy with you.

Together, and apart.

You've sat yourself down a lot and tried to comprehend the traits that drew you to both of your partners, and honestly it gets you fucking no where every time. It's not like you can't compare them: the ways Mariam and Rei were alike, you could count on one hand. But the ways they were different were nothin' short of goddamn mindblowing.

Rei was smart. Like really really fucking smart. Anything to do with money, anything to do with managing time or physics and he was sure to figure it out. His brain skills went a lot farther than knowing exactly how much was in an ounce; how many minutes it would take to cook the perfect chicken. He was a talented tradesman too. Could fuckin' build anything. You've enjoyed the nights you spent with him, fixing his failing roof. Convincing him to have a bottle of beer with you while you worked. Maybe he was predictable but hey.

Mariam had good intuition. If there was something bad on the way, she somehow had it figured out before anyone else. Sometimes it made her seem wise beyond her years, like she'd already experienced everything and knew what to tell you to do. Now ask her to add 2 + 2 and you'd probably get an answer like 6 or 12 or some shit but she had good excuses. How many nights have you spent in bed, a basket of nachos between you and a horror movie on so you could try to guess who was going to get axed in the head first?

They both cooked. And they were both good cooks. Rei was better though. He had more training and he cooked these huge meals, basically delicacies and he made you try shit you wouldn't have ever dared touch. And you liked it. She cooked too, but her baking was better. You didn't know you had a true love of pumpkin spiced anything until you met her.

Rei was a bit of a pussy. ( _Aha, see what I did there? Obviously. This is you, dumbass_.) Doesn't like violence, doesn't like gore. He would rather back down from a fight instead of encouraging a beat-down even if he very well fuckin' knew the dick on the other side deserved it. You know Rei has the power inside. Fuck, with all the martial arts shit he does he could probably give Garland or fuckin' Jet Li a run for their money. But he doesn't. Because, he's a pussy. (You tell yourself that. It's easier to call him a pussy than a 'good guy.')

Mariam was too brave for her own good. There was no manner of mask or spectre, no amount of blood and gore and cheap special effects that could gross her out. She was also a challenge in every essence of the word. If she stood for something and she felt she was right or you were wrong, hell would come to pass. God forbid somebody threaten someone she loved or cared about. Her bravery had her tryin' new shit, all the time. And a lot of it ain't good for her. Sometimes her bravery equated to recklessness, in your opinion.

They both loved animals. Every animal. Every size, every color. You were still somewhat shell-shocked that Lord of the Pussy Rei Kon did not, in fact, own twenty cats. Not even one measly kitten. In fact Rei didn't own any pets. But he saved the scraps of every single damn meal he cooked and he'd take it out to the porch and there would be an army of starving pigeons and Great Tits (aha seriously, it's a real bird) and neighborhood dogs waiting for their Grade-A supper. Mariam has a chinchilla. You thought at first you wouldn't like the rat but when you went to stay it took a liking to you. Can't reject it now, you suppose. She'll get more animals someday, when she stops flying around so much from city to city. The only thing you know Mariam won't find herself the owner of was a spider.

Well shit; Looks like she ain't so brave after all. But you don't mind because her fear is fuckin' hilarious.

Rei had a nasty habit of holding onto his anger, bundling it up and shovin' it deep. In fact he hid it so well that you were beginning to think the guy never got pissed at all. But just the same, you'd seen it. You'd seen the tiger come out in Rei during your first World Championships. Nearly used you as a fuckin' scratching post. But the Rei you've come to adore so much was always calm, always cool. Collected as fuck. He was prepared to talk through anything and handle it with as much social grace as a damn debutante. Made you feel downright inferior sometimes. And then, on one really fuckin' unfortunate day he would explode. Gentle demeanor gone. Rei was like a savage tiger caged in a zoo and there ain't a goddamn thing you've figured out yet to make that anger go away. You've learned to ride it out, even though it tries your patience. Like a lot. You envied the control though: while it lasted.

Mariam was the opposite. When she was pissed off you were gonna hear about it. Just how many screamin' matches have you had by now? Too many to count. But a lot of 'em also ended in some pretty impressive 'gonna fuck you up' sex so you won't complain. Her hatred of certain things ran deep and when it crashed it was like waves, roarin' on the shoreline. You've seen her worst enemies cower at her feet like piss-poor puppies try'na be guard dogs. She often joked that she had a reputation for making bodies disappear. Sometimes, you weren't sure if she was lying. And you love it.

Their hair... Oh god, the hair. Guys don't fuckin' look at hair, okay? We know it's there. We know it's dirty or clean or soft or not. Before them, you didn't _look_ at hair. With Kon it was the memory of your attack slicing that white roll of tied silk that contained his. It exploded. Waves and waves of ebony hair, spillin' all over the dish. You admit it: it stole your attention away, even from the blades down below. And right up until the end of the battle, when you were just comin' to as they were hauling Kon off on a stretcher, you watched the long tails of dark strands hanging over the edge of the white sheets. Made you wanna pull it. Now you do. Mariam's ain't as long as Rei's. And that means Rei's is as long as a year spent in the fuckin' abbey, because Mariam's hair is pretty long. Long and fuckin' perfect. Rei was into styling his hair one way and he didn't wear it free because he didn't like the feminine look. Mariam was a chick, so she got away with it and did she ever. It never looked the same. Sparkly things, dangly things, curls, straight, waves... You actually learned about hair-care products and that was fucking disturbing. One day you saw her at the beach, bent over at the waist, facing you, and she was letting the sea water just run from her tossed hair onto the ground. She felt you there and she looked up, the sway of her hair revealing her face and she smiled. She looked beautiful, hair drenched like that. Made you wanna pull it. Now you do.

Did I mention sometimes shit was the opposite?

You knew when you took things too far. But you couldn't always stop yourself. A snarky comment, a tug a bit too hard in your direction... You aren't exactly gentle. Not in touch, not in heart. It took you some time to figure out why everything you did seemed to bother Rei but Mariam just took your shit with a sigh. Kon wasn't great at masking his sadness. Not at all. He got mopey, lazy, he grumbled and altogether he fuckin' pouted like a kicked puppy. It hurt sometimes to watch but you were able to fix it fast most of the time. A direct comparison to his anger response.

Mariam denied sadness. She hated cryin', refused to let you see that more than once and even while you've been staring her in the face and saying you have to go back and see your boyfriend now, she'd barely quiver. Shrug her shoulders, say alright and kiss your jaw and send you away. It took some time that you were takin' it for granted, for you to really figure out that she ached over it. She hurt too. She wasn't stone. She just hated that she wasn't. Puts up a damn good front. Quiet sadness, unlike her loud anger.

They both had a tendency to escape the confines of the walls sometimes. You'd wake up and she's not in bed. You don't panic because you know she can't sleep sometimes and she's almost always gone to the beach. You'd wake up and he's not in bed. You don't panic because you know he's an early riser and he's gone to enjoy the sun coming over the mountains. Nature went hand in hand with them. Hell, maybe you don't like it just because you're from a place naturally so cold your nipples could cut glass as soon as you stepped outside. But Rei loved the fresh air and sparse cool days of summer. He wanted to be out, working in the fields or helping kids blade. Mariam longed for the heat of a sunny day to be able to put on a bathing suit, dive headlong into the blue surf. They could both be gone for hours. (Gives you time to miss them.)

Yeah, I know what you're waitin' for.

You want me to talk about sex.

Because what is a relationship without hot, dirty fucking? Not a relationship you want to be in. Rei is very much a comfort lover. He needed a lot of coaching and coaxing sometimes because he wasn't as experienced, but fuck did he prove himself. That bein' said, Rei was as cuddly as a lazy cat. He liked that slow fucking that built you both up, a single step at a time. He liked being told he was loved and that he was handsome and good-looking and important to you. Rei liked feeling like he was a part of you and you were a part of him. Corny shit, I tell ya. But good. You never pegged him to be a screamer when he came, so that took you by surprise. Every single time, your night ended with a single kiss. You took a lot of pride in that ritual. You knew it and it knew you.

Mariam was a bit more wild. A bit more uncontrolled. When she wanted to be, of course. Most of the time she was pretty content to let you have your way. The only time you felt like you were actually a lot stronger than she was and she trusted you. Not to say she never liked it slow ever, but most of the time she was happy to take your all. You've broken more than one table. Bruises and bumps and scratches; not always on her. Biting and panting and cursing. You preferred her bed when you were stressed out or pissed off because fucking her was the perfect way to blow off steam. And then, when you were finished she had this goddamn way of turning you into a sap. Playin' with her hair and holdin' her close and that shit. She always said she liked being yours.

He turned you on with his words.

For someone so reserved, Rei had a shockingly dirty mouth. He'd always manage to say just the right fuckin' thing to get you going. Sometimes it was a whisper in your ear: _'I'm hard... I'd like you to touch me._ ' You didn't like bein' ordered around usually. With Rei it wasn't so bad. Other times it was a teasing taunt while he was cooking at the counter. Bendin' over, sticking out his ass. One time he put on just an apron and nothing else. ' _Does this suit you? I could cook like this every day, if I were rewarded after... And during.'_

She turned you on with her touch.

Mariam didn't talk dirty but everything she was good at, she was good with her hands. You could be doin' anything at all when a pale finger trickled down your neck; a slender arm snaked around your waist and she rubbed your chest. Massages were her thing, and while you wish you could keep your hands off her while getting one you just can't. Because she didn't touch only with her hands... She would stretch herself out, not so tall as you across your back and place little kisses across your shoulderblades. Enough to drive you crazy.

Bottom line is: you're not able to pick one of them based on fucking ability.

So back to their fuckin' heart of hearts, or whatever people call souls these days.

(You're pretty sure you don't have one.)

They were pretty alike in how they viewed the world. Rei was vocal about its beauty and its worth and about how truly fuckin' cool everything was. Marveled at the scenery, at culture, all that shit. Mariam did too but she wasn't as loud about it. You'd catch her in moments of silence, starin' at whatever she had reason to think was interesting.

The difference in them came from how they viewed _people_.

Rei thought that there was a use for everyone, but he wasn't so naive that he would waste all his time trying to help people who couldn't be helped. He was quite realistic in that way, and you liked the fact that you didn't have to share him with his goddamn conscious. He wasn't selfish, but he wasn't selfless either. Though sometimes it made you wonder how far you could really push Rei, until he decided you just weren't one of those people who were worth it. Mariam on the other hand, though nobody would ever think so, was about as selfless as they came. You need it? You got it. In fact the way she was so ready to put her head on the chopping block to save other people worried you sometimes. You spend a lot of time wondering if that worry, is worth it.

So they were different those ways too. Solve your problem?

(Nope.)

Maybe the secret was in how they felt about you.

You have a bit of baggage. That's what they call it, right? When you've got a violent past of world domination and child abuse and emotional psychopathy? Anyways. When you and Mariam got close for the first time you told her everything. You weren't sure why, but you did. She told you some stories of her own and for the first time, someone outside your team understood. You feel whole.

Rei knows all the details now too. But he does not have stories of his own and you can see him try to force himself to understand everything that happened to you and everything that you went through. But fuck, he tries hard. You feel hope.

Christ, what other comparisons are there?

When you're staying at her place, you go on skype with him. When you're staying at his place, you sneak away to call her.

You love him. You love her. So what the fuck are you to do?

Look where you are.

Rei is happy. Mariam is happy.

They're happy with you.

 _Together, and apart._


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Hi guys! I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter; this one's for you guys! :) I think there will be maybe one more chapter after this one, but I may surprise myself and write a couple more. And if you guys would like to see this turned into a bigger relationship study then game on. But for now, enjoy chapter 2. :) Leave a review please!

* * *

You wipe some sweat off your brow, and sigh as the sun's unrelenting rays shine down harshly on your shoulders.

Honestly you hadn't thought there would be much of a difference in heat, the distance from the ground to the top of your roof but there really is. It's smeltering up here. You have dark skin, and it's been burnt before and roughened before and smoothed out all over again. You know not to fear the sun, you've lived beneath it for far too long. You've traveled the world underneath its rays.

Yet, today, it seems a lot hotter.

"Gonna get anything to drink or what?"

His voice calls out to you from below and you look over the edge of your soon-to-be-tiled roof. "Huh?"

"Are you thirsty. It's gotta be like fuckin' 40 degrees, get off the roof for awhile."

He has a point. It's been awhile since you drank something. Nodding both to him and to yourself you take the ladder down; jump gracefully from the last couple of rungs. He gives you an eyebrow for that, but in your mind you rationalize it as never needing to stop impressing him.

He walks back inside your house and you follow him in.

You find yourself doing that a lot... Following him.

Because that's the kind of person he was. So emotional, so ready to take or leave the world that if you didn't make the same choices sometimes it felt like he would walk straight off a cliff and you would be the one left hanging, trying to pull both of you back to salvation.

"I'll have a-"

A brown glass bottle gets pressed into your hand and you blink down at it. "Beer? I thought you were going to get me a bottle of water!"

That wide grin.

"Nobody said a damn thing about water. Drink up." He clanged his bottle against yours unceremoniously, and as he tipped his head back to take a few greedy gulps you couldn't help but smile as you watched him.. Shaking your head.

He didn't surprise you at all. Yet, in some ways he always did.

You put the beer bottle to your lips and took a couple gulps of the bitter taste. You were never much of a drinker; he'd always detested that a little. He used every opportunity possible to get some form of alcohol into your unwilling hands and eventually, it became a game.

(You drew the line that one time he spiked your morning tea. Face-first into a practice dirt beydish and the children still haven't let you live it down.)

Bryan always seems to win.

"The roof is lookin' pretty damn good." You look at him and nod.

"It really is. I have to thank you for all your help; Gary has so much work of his own to do this summer, Kevin doesn't know a thing about carpentry and Lee isn't here. If it weren't for you I would've never gotten this far."

"Don't thank me." He made a scoffish sound and took another swig. He hated compliments, he hated 'thank yous'... It took you a long time to figure out that Bryan didn't think he deserved all those fancy measures that 'normal people' (his words; not yours) gave each other. Heck, a well-placed comment about how good he looked and Bryan even blushed.

Hmmmmm... Come to think of it...

"...You know what else is looking pretty good?"

Bryan paused; bottle still at his lips and you watched the slow movement of his throat as he finally swallowed the beer. Hanging on your words, he loved it when you talked dirty. His eyes were on you but he didn't dare move. Not yet.

"You, up there... Sweating, the sun on your back..." Your golden eyes traced the outline of Bryan's shoulders. Pale no more; at least not this week. The sun has burned them and tanned them and even given him a freckle or two. Bryan had been working hard for you up there, and when you weren't working yourself you boldly enjoyed a glance at his rippling muscles; at the way he pursed his lips when he would lift a heavy bucket or a box of tiles. Narrow his eyes in concentration as he nailed and tarred.

Another swallow.

"I have to be honest with you Bryan. There were a couple of times up there... I thought about asking you to fuck me on the new tiles. If only I didn't have so many neighbors."

The bottle was left abandoned on the countertop within seconds and you heard the door slam shut. You were being pushed backward, backward out of sight of the windows (Kevin had a nasty habit of glancing inside before he knocked), into the bedroom, that door closed behind you two as well until your legs hit the back of your bed and you fell onto your sheets with a laugh.

Your hands were already shoving down your gym pants, taking your boxers with it. His hands were undoing his jeans. But you have different plans. He didn't let you finish what you had been saying out in the kitchen.

"Bryan... I want on top." He barely takes notice of your words and as he flips you over, hand reaching for the lube in your drawer you know it's time to make your voice a little louder. "Ugh, Bryan!"

That telltale grunt of annoyance. "What?"

"I want to fuck you..."

Now he paused.

See, it's not that you haven't done it like this before. You have. He lets you take the lead, even though he's pushy as all hell underneath you.

 _'Do it harder.'_  
 _'Speed up.'_  
 _'You call that rough?'_

Very pushy. But he felt amazing squeezing around you.

You were okay being beneath Bryan most of the time. But you were strong too. And, sometimes you wanted to prove it. Honestly you had never bought in to that whole masculine-feminine gay stereotype and you still don't. It's very much a _Bryan_ stereotype with you.. That he always has to be the strong one, the one on top.

See, if you let him keep getting away with that, he would get too used to it.

You wanted Bryan vulnerable. Inside you knew he wanted it too... He was just so unused to not having control. Vulnerability made Bryan _very_ uncomfortable.

After he told you all about his life at the Abbey... You understood why.

So it took some time. And you had to admit that even though you were doing the fucking, he still had to do the commanding and the pace-setting. You've been a team captain. You've been a leader in your village and a role model to thousands. You've been guiding the youths of your neighborhood to growing up and living their own lives.

Never being the boss isn't always easy for you. And Bryan appreciates that. But you've accepted it. You've accepted that, as long as you were in a relationship with Bryan Kuznetsov, that you can't be the one in control. His brain and his heart just don't work that way.

But when Bryan was in an amazingly good mood he did let you share it. So that brings you to here.

Bryan is all rough grunts and reaching backwards, digging his fingers into your asscheeks to make you move into him harder. He won't let you push his head down any farther than it is and he needs to know that if he tells you to stop, you stop. It works for you. You're still awkward sometimes in bed; you have a lot of learning to do. And the role-switching makes it easier and harder sometimes. But whatever you do, it works. And knowing Bryan is letting you have him, see him, this way... It works for you too.

It always brings you off screaming.

Somewhere, in that post-coital haze of 'I'm so warm I'm so sticky it's too hot for this but this is comfortable I'm thirsty should we shower? this is perfect I want to stay like this the roof can wait he even lets me cuddle him' you lose yourself and your constant stream of blissed-out thoughts finally comes to an end.

He is here, with you.

He is happy.

You look at him lying beside you, arms above his head. His flesh is hot against your cheek and he looks very relaxed as he stares out at nothing. Usually this would be about the time you poked and prodded him to shower with you because while you aren't sterile and unfeeling about sex, you do believe in cleanliness and it's not fun to bask in sweat or be scratching at dried cum.

But for now you're quiet, and he's quiet. You don't ponder too much about his thoughts because Bryan always tells you how he feels.

That's why you have nothing to worry about.

Right?

From his bag, in the closet, you hear the muffled chime of an incoming text.

You glance in that direction, and for a moment you wonder if his own eyes look down at you and follow your line of sight. You wonder if he knows that you're curious. But if he thought you were, Bryan would throw his phone at you and tell you to put your fears to rest.

You have nothing to worry about. Bryan is too open. Bryan is too untrusting of other people.

You know the only people he talks to closely. Yuriy. Sergei. Ian. If it's not them, it's probably Kai. Bryan only really talks to his teammates when he's visiting here with you. You know being away from them is difficult for him. Being away from home is difficult for him... He'd ventured far once before and he was hurt for it. Bryan is putting his trust in you, by coming to stay. He trusts you in all things.

He deserves the same in that respect, and not to have your mind wandering with little paranoid delusions about where he goes and who he talks to when you're not around.

You like to think it's the sly side of you; Driger, the hunter. The tiger. Wanting to be all-seeing.

"Rei?"

You raise your eyes. "What? Sorry. I must have been dozing off."

"With your eyes open?"

"Huh.. Uh, I guess so." His chest huffed in a weird, scoffy laugh.

"Whatever. Wanna get in the shower 'er what?"

Mind back on the present... Back on him. God, it is pretty hot here...

"That sounds great." You peel yourself away from his side, he pushes himself out of bed and your routine becomes real again.

Water. Rinse. You force him to cuddle. You clean him. He cleans you. Rinse. Water off. Steam. His hand is out, holding your towel. You take it from him with a smile to dry that hair of yours; he knows you so well.

"Got me feelin' hungry now." You grin at him over your shoulder as he towel-dries his own hair; you watch the silver strands grow impossibly fluffy for a moment and you so want to tease him. But, you refrain.

"Is that a request to start dinner?"

"Is that your invitation to lie around and have a beer while you cook dinner?"

He's grinning and you laugh. You love this. These moments of home-grown mentality. Normality. You're cooking and he's cleaning your blades or watching some kind of movie that you have absolutely no interest in; all of your interest is in listening to him as he reacts. The small chuckles, the winces, the sarcastic comments (apparently people in horror movies are idiots?). It all feels so right and normal to you. Then he comes to the table and you take off the apron and you talk for hours straight and eat good food.

"Go ahead and relax for awhile. We worked hard today. I'll get changed and start us something for dinner." Bryan reaches out and pulls a couple strands of your hair to show his affection (even though it drives you nuts) and you grimace and smack his hand away, then watch him walk out of the bathroom in his towel to hit up the refrigerator for a drink.

You finish drying your hair, and realize you need a new cloth to wrap it. You tie your own towel and walk back out to the bedroom. As you approach the closet, your eyes fall on Bryan's bag.

It sits there, almost taunting you.

Would it make you a bad person if you...?

Your hands are unzipping the polyester and pulling out the cell phone before you can really determine an answer. You open his messages.

And... You feel like a jackass.

It's Yuriy.

 _'Ian wants more of that weird Chinese tea. Tell Kon he's turning our teammate into a pansy.'_

You take a deep breath, try to wipe the smile off your face and slip the phone back into the bag where it belongs. You rewrap your hair.

You go out and cook dinner, you sit down and talk and you make lame jokes just to watch that 'are you fuckin' crazy?' face of his that he always makes at you. Then you clean up, he helps. He goes outside for a couple minutes to smoke because he knows you hate the smell. He comes back in, spritzes himself with an aftershave you have fallen in love with and then you both go to bed. With a kiss of course. He tells you that he should leave and fly home soon, might be busy job-hunting for a couple of days.

You have nothing to worry about.


	3. Chapter 3

**MS:** Hey everyone! Back after yet another long delay. But no worries; I have so many fic and drabble and oneshot ideas right now that I'll be back in full force soon. I've completed nursing school! I actually did it! And I've been hired for my first job at my very own hospital as a casual :) So that means I'll get work but I'll also get a lot of free time! Anyways, just a quick blurb about this chapter. I need to vastly thank everyone who reviewed because that's the reason I chose to continue with this story! And from this chapter out I think it gets a bit more complex and will leave you wondering 'okay, WHAT happened..?" and that's normal. This is Mariam's chapter. I figure I'll continue doing a mix of perspectives of the trio. Let me know what you think.

* * *

You watch, utterly absorbed, laying out on the foot of your bed on your stomach as Krug attempts to shoot Mary. She's swimming for her life across the lake. The worst part of the movie has just passed. The irony that its protagonist is also named Mary is not lost on you. The thought makes you glance at the clock on your nightstand.

Hm.

His flight must be late.

You were hoping he would be here by now; you're getting drowsy.

Then again you never slept better or fell asleep easier than when he was with you.

Hell; maybe it's the simple thought of knowing he's on his way that has your eyelids feeling heavy.

Usually ' _The Last House On The Left_ ' has your undivided attention.

It's not too warm, it's not too cold; the temperature in your room is just right and it makes relaxing in a t-shirt and your underwear too good right now.

Drowsy.

It's nearly 4AM; he should've been here by 3.

If his flight is so delayed, then maybe a quick nap won't hurt...

The next thing you know is the sensation of a familiar chest laying itself out on your back. The new weight puts extra pressure on your hands where your chin rests and you blink yourself out of your stupor just as he's kissing the side of your head.

Damn, must've-

"You almost fell asleep."

You groan out an apology, and then find yourself smirking when it's clear that there's a certain hardness poking at the backs of your thighs.

God you've missed him.

"You were late..."

"Fuckin' delayed in customs." You've turned your head up for what you can, your lips immediately seeking the pale skin of his jaw. You love his jaw; not as much as his lips, but you do love that straight jawline of his. And the scar from his previously broken nose.

He adjusts his position on top of you and you might bite your lip a little as he rubs over your ass. It's too easy to tell what he'd been thinking about on the flight here. And that makes you infinitely happy.

Because he could've been thinking about someone else.

Suddenly a noise from the movie, still playing in front of you, draws your green eyes back to the screen and you remember that you'd been watching before you dozed. Mary's father is fighting with Krug's girlfriend, Sadie, in the bathroom. Obligatory tit shot as she gets shot in the head.

"' _Last House On The Left_ ' again eh?" He speaks so casually as he lifts his hips, digs a finger into the hemline of your underwear and tugs them down your white legs.

"It's my favorite." Bryan's kneeling up now, undoing his pants and you reach behind you. You move blindly for a minute, but when your fingers clasp around his wrist he lets you pull that arm forward. You can practically feel his shudder as you pass his knuckles by your lips.

You like to think that your touch tantalizes him. Because every part of him tantalizes you.

Especially when he-

You cry out a little as he enters you from behind. It stabs, it burns at first and you love that feeling. Your body misses him when he's gone.

Things will be slow tonight. He knows you're tired, and he just hopped off a plane from Hong Kong. His hips are a slow, deep roll into you and his arms curl around you; effectively bracketing you with his body.

The crashes, the screams, the sadness of the movie go unnoticed to you from here on out as he milks little noises from your throat and kisses at the side of your neck and breathes roughly in your ear.

He cums loud, and you cum quiet; the great dichotomy.

It's so late. ...Early.

Sunlight is beginning to peak through the window shutters and while you're a little more awake now than you've been all night... You want to sleep more now than you did earlier. He pulls himself out of you, eventually, and as you push yourself up you give in and go for his lips.

You're not that lame person who wants a kiss before bedtime; not your style. But he's been away for almost four months... Secret phone calls and text messages and naked pictures don't do you justice.

Bryan isn't overly affectionate; but he gives in to be the Bryan you need right now, and kisses you once but long.

After that he gets up and turns off the light, and you shed your t-shirt too because why the fuck not. It'll be warmer soon, when the sun rises high into the sky and with two of you in your tiny bed you'll both sweat. He stumbles a little in the darkness, then makes his way back over and climbs in beside you.

You want in his arms, so he opens them for you and soon your head is on his bare chest, over the tattoo he'd gotten there when Voltaire was sentenced and the Abbey was closed for good. Your eyelids are so heavy at this point that it's a challenge to keep them open. You can't imagine how he feels, seeing as you just fucked and he's been on a plane for the last nine hours.

His skin is always cool... It feels so good right now, arms wrapping around you with your blankets pooling around your waists. You remember his fingers in your hair and that's it.

You've let him sleep in. Besides, you've woken up in a wonderful mood.

No dreams last night, no chills, no sweats... You slept so well, just like you knew you would.

You're in such a good mood actually that you picked up your brother's guitar today and decided to pluck a few strings.

Maybe he heard the music; within twenty minutes or so you feel the sense of being watched, a looming presense over your back. It makes you more weary of your playing, of every string your fingers touch. You'd been singing, and you didn't even notice until now because you suddenly feel the need to make your voice quiet.

Wrong chord. "Shit..."

"Sounded good to me."

Suspicions affirmed. You look up and over your shoulder at him, his hair mussed and bare-chested in the late-morning light. He's a sight to see. Who knows; maybe the mental image of him standing there in the hallway behind you is what made you screw up. You're a master musician; it's the only thing you're good at. Your hands are rough and scarred and crampy because of it, but you love it. And performing has never intimidated you whether it be in the beystadium, the bedroom or on a stage, so the fact that Bryan can unnerve you into plucking the wrong strings is a feat in itself.

"No, I'm rusty... Haven't played much lately."

"I said it sounded good didn't I?" His hand leisurely reaches out and sweeps up through your bangs and then the rest of your hair, making you lean backward into his legs. "Gonna eat breakfast with me?"

You nod your head, and he grasps your forearm to help pull you to standing.

It was the little things with Bryan, like that... The different ways that he showed affection other than kissing or hugging or cooking. A lot of times it was just an arm around your waist, an evil glare aimed at somebody who bumped into you on the street. Everything with him was 'get closer to me. be mine.'

He thinks he's bad at affection.

The truth is he's amazing at protection.

Soon you're cooking eggs and moose sausage at the stove, and an idle thought crosses your mind. "...Does Rei cook breakfast everyday?"

Bryan stops reading the firearm magazine he's got at your kitchen table. The atmosphere between you two is suddenly so very, very different.

You shouldn't have asked that.

It takes almost an entire minute.

"Mmhmm." That's all you get.

"..." You return your eyes back to the frying pan, and he puts his back on the pages of his magazine. Idly you wonder how he feels right now. Is it guilt..? Anger...? It's hard not to think of what could be going through his mind when he surprises you everyday. But how could you not wonder...? He's cheating on Rei with you. The world only knows about Rei. Rei knows about nothing. He expects you to be with only him but he has another. Is it guilt? Is it anger? Is it you, wanting him all to yourself...?

You shut off the stove. "Sorry, guess I shouldn't-"

"No, you fuckin' shouldn't." The sharpness of his words wounds you a little and you clench your teeth. His eyes are tearing into you but you don't move, you don't look at him. It's your quiet way... Your quiet sadness. "You don't get it."

No, you don't... But you want to.

"You know I fuckin' care about him too." _Yes, I know_. There's another hanging silence, and it drives you mad. You just want to understand-

"I love you and I fuckin' love him. You think I enjoy not being able to choose? You think I enjoy cheating on him when he don't deserve it and makin' you feel like shit because you feel like you ain't enough?"

You can't help but look at him now because you've never said that to him. When he showed up at your place and found you knee-deep in depression and told you he still loved you, you accepted that because you still loved him. You didn't speak about Rei much... The only thing you both agreed on was that you wanted to keep loving each other, and that no one else needed to know about it.

"Jesus in between you and him there's no other time. Not time for my team, not time for me. _Fuck_ personal time, I don't even want it. I'm with him most of the time and I don't get to see you often because people would fuckin' make something of it if we hung out. Probably break Rei's heart."

He's not helping your guilt now.

"So please. If we're gonna do this Mariam, you're not gonna act like a victim and I'm not gonna spend one of the few fucking times we get together in person bein' forced to think about what I'm doing to him. Because all I got is you two. Ain't time for nothin' else and I don't wanna make time to feel shittier than what I do. All I can do is make you two happy when I can."

He reluctantly reopens the magazine that he'd slammed shut; unknowingly or not.

"Just wanna be about you for awhile.."

His words leave a lot more to be said, but they've done their job. You temporarily abandon your task of breakfast at the counter, and walk back over to him. Your town is small; your community is private. They know everything about you, and you trust them. So you don't care if they see you wrap your arms around him from the window, watch you kiss his cheek and temple as he quietly seethes to let go of the anger in him.

The way Bryan pulls your arms a little tighter says even more. You need him. Even if this isn't right. Even if you're the bad guy. Even if you both are. He needs you.

"I love you." You whisper the words into his ear, and he makes some undetermined noise to show he heard you. You cling to him for a couple minutes more, soaking up everything that being together offers you.

Then you make your way back to the stove with a deep breath and a new smirk on your face.

"So we have a week and a half. Better make it count."

His eyes are on your back.

 _Together, and apart._


End file.
